How Comic Book Guy Stoled Christmas
by PrincessAurorus
Summary: Comic Book Guy wants to stop Christmas from coming in Hero-ville by disguising himself as Santa Claus. While doing so, he runs into the Villains that distracts him with a special celebration for their Christmas that can be devastating. Copyright goes to Dr. Suess for this parody of "How the Grinch Stoled Christmas" and the Simpsons


Every Superhero down in Hero-Ville love Christmas a lot... But for Comic Book Guy, who lived just North of Hero-Ville. did NOT!

He stared down from his store with a sour, nerdy frown, at the warm lighted windows below in their town.

"Christmas," said Comic Book Guy, "A time year when everyone gets a comic. But for I have are for losers and for meant to be atomic!"

For what, he knew... That all the Marvel Heroes would go rushing to the living room with comic books and no zeroes.

Yet, they would go ahead and dig through their large stocks, that were hung by the chimney and were not regular socks!

The children were losers, Comic Book Guy had to admit. They acted like MARVEL heroes that are a actual hit!

They grab their presents and comic books that he or she enjoys but nerd gets bad ones with trash and awful noise, noise, NOISE!

They did their Hulk Smash with their brand new Hulk hands. They even slung a fake webs with Spider Man's web bands.

Kids these days are horrible for they were like never. But the CBG's mind it would the Worst Christmas Ever!

Then, the Marvel Heroes would gather around to feast. They would feast and feast like bread mixed with powdered yeast.

They would start with chocolate pudding and of course the roast beast. Roast Beast, the nerd couldn't stand to the least.

And then, they did something the Comic Book Guy hated most of all, is that all the Marvel Heroes would gather around in Super Hall.

They would stand to the choir line as the bells were ringing. Ode to the Superhero plays and they started singing!

They'd sing and they'd sing And they'd sing, sing, sing, SING!

And the more the Comic Book Guy about the Christmas sing. The more that he thought, "I must stop this whole thing.

I'm about put up of this long enough now! I must stop Christmas from coming, but how?"

Then he got an idea, an awful idea! The nerd got an awful but thoughtful idea!

"I know what I'll do," the Comic Book Guy laughed in his throat, "I'll make Santa Claus hat and a heartwarming coat!"

And he chuckled, "What a great nerdy trick. With this coat and this hat, I'll be like Saint Nick!"

All he needed was a reindeer. He thought into his head, "If I can't get a reindeer, I find one instead."

The Nerd went to the mountains and found the group of losers. The Super Villains wanted to celebrate Christmas with fusers.

"We need your help, mister," said Dr. Doom. "We need decorations from the town with no gloom."

"Why need decorating?" asked The Comic Book Guy looking confused. "I'm searching for a reindeer that will make me amused."

Then, Green Goblin said, "No deers are here to snub. Besides, why not go ahead and take those bear cubs."

The Joker said, "My wife, Harlequin is giving birth to her clownish son that can parish the Earth."

So the Nerd built a manger for Harlequin and the Joker. And those villains were worried that bears were stop their play of poker.

The Nerd promised he will stop it and head towards town. He marched towards the bear cave without letting them down.

Well, someone had to go fight the bear with sharp paws. "Geez, this is getting super ridiculous," said Comic Book Claus.

The bear cubs gathered together and cried. All alone in the wild because their mother had died.

The Comic Book Guy picked up the cubs and headed to the sleigh. He dressed them as some reindeer and they dashed away!

As all the Comics were dreaming sweet dreams without care when the Comic Book Guy came to the first house in the square.

"That's stock number one," The Comic Book Claus hissed. He walked towards the house the his sack in his fists.

He crawled up the roof and down the chimney. You couldn't tell why. Thought Spiderman can do it, then so could Comic Book Guy.

He got stuck only once, for a moment or two. Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.

All the Superhero stockings were hung in a row. "These stockings," said the CBG, "are the first ones to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile so unpleasant, around the whole room, and he took every present.

He slunk to the icebox. He took the Comic Fans' feast. He took the chocolate pudding and of course the roast beast.

The Comic Book Guy stuffed food up the chimney with glee. "And NOW," grinned the Comic Book Guy, "I will stuff up the tree!"

He grabbed the Christmas Tree and started to shove, when he heard a small sound like a coo of a dove.

He turned around fast and saw Batman's pre-teen son, Robin known as Damian, more older than one.

Robin stared at the Comic Book Guy and said, "Santa, Why? Why are you taking our Christmas Tree? WHY?"

But, you know, that old Nerd was so smart and so slick. He thought up a lie and thought it up quick!

"Why, my handsome young teen," the Comic Book Claus lied. "There's a light on this tree that won't light on a side."

"I'll take it to my fix-it store, my heroic dear. I fixed up there and I'll bring it back here."

His fib fooled the teen. Then he padded Robin's head. He gave him warm tea and sent him to bed.

After Robin went to bed along with the cup. The Nerd went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up.

The last thing he took was the log for their fire. The he went up the tree himself, that old lair.

Then, he did the same thing to the houses at the square. He was ready back to the North over there.

All the Marvel Heroes, still asleep in every bed. Still asleep with every dream. The Nerd packed his sled.

Packed up with the presents, the ribbons, the wrappings, the tags, the tinsels, the trimming, and trappings!

Three thousand feet up to meet up with the evildoers. He gave the large bag and gave them .

Green Goblin said, "Now our Christmas can start!" The Super Villains cheered with love in every heart.

Comic Book Guy in the red suit was confused. "You've done us a huge favor," said The Joker who's amused.

"With the Heroes not knowing our process- maybe. My wife over there can give birth to the Anti-Baby!"

Comic Book Guy was shocked over The Joker's wife. The Wuzzles cut open Venom with a very large knife.

"NO!" he shouted, "I know you all were styled, but I won't let you give birth to that Anti-Child!"

The Super Villains gasped and said, "Why put a end? We all thought you're our helpful anti-friend."

Comic Book Guy said, "I'm taking down the manger I built." Then the Villains use their power to hurt him with guilt.

The Nerd ran farther away with anxious fear. Then he stopped, and put his hand to his ear.

He did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started out low and it started to grow.

But this... This sound wasn't so sad. Why, that sound sounded very very glad.

Every Hero down in Hero-Ville, the tall and small. Was singing! Without any presents at all!

He haven't stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME! Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And Comic Book Guy Nerd, with his nerd-feet ice-cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, "How could it be so?"

It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!

And he puzzled three hours, until his puzzler was sore. Then the Comic Book Guy thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

He rushed towards the bear cubs and told them, "It's Dawn! The heroes were awake and they sang without yawn."

Then the cubs and the Nerd rushed back to the woods with glee. They were willing to take back the Christmas Tree.

What they realized that The Joker and his wife were there with the manger to stock with life.

The Anti-Child was born, sealing the world's fate. The Comic Book Guy in the worn-out suit was too late.

The Villains noticed the Comic Book Guy being here just in time for the celebration of the newborn of their crime.

Poor Nerd knew why was the Anti-Child bad, even the cubs didn't grumble just to be sad.

Each bear cub took a bite out of the Anti-Child and the Comic Book Guy tied up the Villains for not being nice.

He took down the manger and took the Christmas and headed to his store for a nice cup of tea.

"Those Villains are losers," said the Comic Nerd in his head. "You cubs can deliver this stuff from my sled."

"But we don't know how," said a bear cub sister, "do you know some place where we can learn, mister?"

"Where could they learn that," the Nerdy Claus thought with a frown. "I know the post office just west in the town."

So he picked up cubs and head out like a storm to the post office where each postman would perform.

The Comic Book Guy whizzed with his load through the bright morning light and let the bear cubs go to post office with delight.

He brought back all the toys, the presents, the tags, the decorations, the lights, Christmas trees, and bags.

The bear cubs helped brought back all the things and were adopted by the postmen after those bell rings.

They brought all the food back and they all had a feast. The Comic Book Guy himself... had carved the roast beast.

Welcome Christmas once again, those in our land. Welcome Christmas one and all, heart to heart, and hand in hand.


End file.
